Ok, we admit it. Calling this article ‘how to give the perfect blowjob’ is a little unrealistic. The truth is, oral sex is performed and enjoyed differently by everyone. Some people love them, some hate them. As with all sexual matters, it’s good communication that’s key. A more accurate title would be ‘how to give a perfectly good blowjob if you’re happy to give one and your partner enjoys receiving them’, but that’s a bit cumbersome.
Blowjob. It’s an odd and misleading phrase. You don’t blow, you suck, and if it’s work you enjoy, it’s hardly a job. But what really sets it apart in the murky and fascinating world of sexual slang is that it’s relatively new, probably coined in the late 50s. When the jet engine was invented, fighter pilots would often refer to their planes as blow jobs without so much as a smirk. (But there’s no evidence the phrase came from the Top Gun community. Just like the history of the word dildo, no one’s quite sure where blowjob came from.)
So let’s be clear: there’s no ‘wrong way’ or ‘right way’ to perform oral sex on a man. But there are plenty of ‘ways’, and we’re going to talk about a few. In no particular order…
5. The One Way Street
The ‘One Way Street’ makes him a passenger, and there’s a good chance he’ll love it. We give it this name because you’re in control; he lies back, closes his eyes, maybe swears at the ceiling, and trusts you to spoil him. This is an opportunity for you to explore and try different techniques: one hand, two hands, no hands, speed up, slow down, stop, start, build up and tease. Listen to his reactions and play to them.
Blindfold him to intensify the sensations, so he’s concentrating only on what you’re doing. Restrain his hands for added spice.
4. The Surrender
In the ‘Surrender’, the roles are reversed: he’s in control of his own pleasure. This is certainly not a technique for everyone, and it takes some self-control on his part and some trust on yours, but it involves allowing him to take your hair, move your head, perhaps kneeling in front of him, and letting him find his own way to orgasm. He’s in control.
And since the roles are reversed from the previous style, perhaps this time you wear the blindfold.
3. The Virgin
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how experienced you are or how much you enjoy performing oral sex, every now and then he’ll enjoy it if you pretend you don’t quite know what you’re doing, like it’s your first time doing it. This takes a light touch, some gentleness and some hesitancy, mixed with some eagerness.
Look him in the eyes while you gently lick him. Tell him how it tastes… flatteringly.
2. The Pornstar
The complete opposite of the ‘Virgin’, the ‘Pornstar’ is all about confidence. This is a blowjob without inhibition, without any powerplay: you give how you want to give and he receives how he wants to receive. You’re both in control, and it can be messy and noisy.
Of course, not everyone can do what pornstars do, and not everyone was born without a gag reflex. But it can be fun to try every now and then.
1. The Big Tease
The Tease puts you right back in the driving seat, but this time, as opposed to the One Way Street, the object is not to allow him to climax, but make him get really close and then drop him back down again. The longer you continue, the more intense his orgasm will be.
Some Things to Try
Take some whipped cream or ice cream, some champagne or some yoghurt and put it in your mouth before going down on him. Use your tongue to move it around him for a sensation he won’t be able to bear for long. You can read some more suggestions for food in foreplay here.
Teeth should be used sparingly during oral sex. But every so often, lightly dragging your teeth along the surface of his skin will shake up the sensations, like hitting a reset button so you can start the pleasure all over again.
Men respond to vibrations just as much as women, and by holding a simple but powerful vibrator against him while you perform oral sex will drive him crazy. Tease his perineum and his testicles while you go down, and occasionally hold it against his penis too.
…forget everything you just read and do it your own way. Sure there are little tips and tricks you can pick up and try, but there’s just no substitute for experimentation and good communication.